The One Thing You Can't See
by Artemesia
Summary: Very slight AU. Even Eriol's precognition isn't perfect. But when he fails to see an devastating accident that robs Sakura and Touya of their most beloved person, will they be able to pick up the pieces? can they even begin to undo what's been done?
1. Fade to Black

"The One Thing You Can't See"  
  
A Cardcaptor Sakura fan fiction by Artemesia  
  
Author's Note: After dealing with much frustration on adapting "I'll Never Tell" to the CCS universe (too much rhyming, I tell you – and cheerful stories are far more difficult to write), I decided to write this in the interim. It's a good deal more serious, and very dark. Also, while it obviously follows the anime concerning the first chapter, it follows the manga in regards to Clow Reed's reincarnation. This story spins off from "Sakura and Yukito's Disappearing Power" and takes our characters into a darker place than they ever imagined. And there *is* charchter death. Reviews are welcome, especially since this is my first serious writing endeavour!  
  
Standard disclaimer: Alas, I don't own the wonderful characters of CCS, but I thank the goddesses at CLAMP for doing so. I do promise to return the characters mostly intact. Perhaps.  
  
Chapter One: Fade to Black  
  
"I know all about it. You-"  
  
Gods, just this last scene to endure. These last scenes were taking longer than Akizuki had optimistically predicted – his sister's wooden acting notwithstanding – and the strain was beginning to wear on them all. Touya had last seen the prop assistants leaning against the wall, eyes half- closed in exhaustion, and the camera crew was growing testier with every take. Akizuki, however, had lost none of her manic, obsessive drive, if anything, her energy increased as everyone around her was slowly winding down. A strange, sick feeling settled in his gut as he looked up to Yukito's turned back. Whatever emotion the script called for he didn't remember – anxious worry and fear would have to do. Yukito bowed his head and with his sixth sense, Touya saw his friend's already pale aura flicker.  
  
'Just one more scene, Yuki, and I'll take you home. Just one more.'  
  
"You-"  
  
******  
  
"Phew!"  
  
Sakura couldn't be more relieved. She had managed to stammer out her few lines, the task made all the more difficult by her proximity to Yukito, but Nakuru seemed pleased with her small part. Tomoyo, of course, had assured her she had done wonderfully and that she should do more movies and let Tomoyo design all of her costumes. With over half of the Clow Cards converted into Sakura Cards – 'how did I let her convince me to keep that name,' she wondered – her best friend was clearly thinking of more opportunities to keep Sakura in costume. Waiting for the occasional school play simply wouldn't be enough.  
  
"Are you finished?" Tomoyo asked, finally turning off her video camera and lowering it to the side. She was looking forward to getting home and compiling her hours of footage into a useable tape – perhaps Akizuki would be willing to let her borrow the film of Sakura's scenes as well.  
  
"I am, and everyone else only has the veranda scene left," Sakura said, looking up towards the balcony. She couldn't see her brother, or more importantly, Yukito, yet, but knew they would be filming in just a few moments. She could easily hear Nakuru's booming voice, even down on the lawn.  
  
Another set of eyes looked intently at the still-vacant balcony, then turned to his companions. "I'm going to make some tea,' Eriol Hiragizawa said in his soft, cultured voice. Tomoyo offered to help, kind and thoughtful as ever, but he assured her he was up to the task of making tea and preparing sweets on his own. As he began walking towards the house, movement on the balcony caught his ever-watchful eyes. The amber-eyed false form of his – no, Clow Reed's – moon guardian, looking out with a wistful, almost pained expression across the grounds, and the Card Mistress' brother just behind him. One faltering in power, one shining bright with a power so similar to his own. And somewhere beyond them, smug in her director's chair, no doubt, the bright, cold aura of his own moon guardian.  
  
'One more piece in the puzzle. Everything is falling into place.'  
  
Eriol allowed himself a sly, Cheshire-cat like smile as he walked on.  
  
******  
  
"You-"  
  
Touya took a hesitant step forward, as the script called for. Yukito bowed his head further, either doing a commendable job acting or simply allowing himself to rest while he was turned away from the camera.  
  
'Just one more scene.'  
  
"You-"  
  
That sick, leaden feeling gave way to hot, stabbing panic as he saw Yuki's aura flicker into non-existence and his friend topple headfirst over the balcony. He didn't know how he managed it, but he felt his stomach slam into the wooden rail and his hand grab onto Yuki's.  
  
"Yuki! Open your eyes! Yuki!"  
  
But Yuki's eyes refused to open, and his friend swung in midair, the breeze catching his brown robes. Touya tried to pull him up, but he could barely hold on. If only Yuki would wake up, would lift up his other hand.  
  
"Yuki! Please, open your eyes! Yuki!" Touya tightened his grip as best as he could, but he could only pull Yukito up a few inches. He could vaguely hear the shrieks and gasps of his classmates behind him – why couldn't one of them come help him? And Akizuki, no matter hr penchant for interrupting at the worst times, she couldn't just let Yuki fall. Could she?  
  
The breeze picked up again, fluttering Yukito's silver hair. A breeze. Wind. Touya looked at her sister, Tomoyo, and the gaki, who stood horrified on the ground so far below. Gods, they had saved him and Youko from plummeting into the hard concrete of the school auditorium. Even if the gaki had to do it, Touya pleaded silently for one of them to act, even as he pleaded out loud to his unconscious friend to wake up.  
  
The breeze picked up again and Touya felt it blowing against his open palm – the breeze was blowing right through Yuki's hand. It was like holding onto a ghost, or trying to hold on. With a painful cry Touya watched Yuki fall, twisting, to the unforgiving ground.  
  
******  
  
Sakura's eyes were green orbs of adoration as she watched Yukito on the balcony. She knew Tomoyo was filming her 'hanyaan' mode as soon as she heard the camera power up, but with the number of videos that existed with her looking at Yukito with love-struck eyes, one more didn't matter. She couldn't hear what her brother or Yukito were saying, but she didn't need to hear them. So long as she could watch her Yukito-san-  
  
"Yuki!"  
  
Sakura barely registered her brother's scream as she saw Yukito slump over the balcony, only to be caught by Touya's swift hand. The momentary relief, however, was squelched by the worry constricting her heart. Tomoyo gasped, and Sakura heard Syaoran's sharp "kuso" from behind her.  
  
'Pull him up, Touya. I know you're strong enough, pull him up.'  
  
But even her brother's strength couldn't pull Yukito's up to safety, and the sudden breeze only made Yukito waver even more in his grasp. Sakura had known Yukito had been tired for the past few months – Touya had never mentioned what happened at New Year's, but she had assumed the worst of Yukito's illness had passed – but she hadn't expected something so dramatic. The breeze stirred again, and Sakura remembered the night she gave Yukito the teddy bear she had made – remembered Yue's wings fluttering out of existence and plummeting to the ground in his arms, saved by Kero- chan's quick rescue.  
  
"Yuki! Please open your eyes! Yuki!"  
  
But Kero-chan was at home, playing his racing game, and so amid all the Seijuu students, who had to be as terrified as her, it was up to Touya to save Yukito now. She knew her brother would save his best friend – there, Touya pulled him up a few inches –  
  
"Yuki!!!!"  
  
The world went silent and strangely still as Touya's hold on Yukito's hand failed and the snow bunny fell to the ground. Sakura couldn't feel, couldn't hear, could only watch Yukito as he fell, fell, fell –  
  
"Sakura-chan!"  
  
'I never got to tell him-'  
  
"Sakura-chan!"  
  
'I never got to tell him-'  
  
"Sakura-chan!! The key!"  
  
Tomoyo's voice finally broke through her shock, and Sakura grabbed at the small star key that hung around her neck. As Sakura went into rescue mode, Tomoyo let out a sigh of relief and raised the video camera, determined to capture Sakura rescuing her number one person.  
  
"Release!"  
  
******  
  
It took an eternity for him to fall, Touya thought, his throat raw from screaming Yuki's name. His hand was solid again, he absently noted, as he watched his friend's body plummet downward. He could feel the surge in Sakura's aura – what took her so long?! – but didn't dare to look anywhere but Yukito and the ground beneath him, which didn't seem far away at all.  
  
******  
  
Nakuru watched Yukito fall with a momentary look of triumph before she adopted the guise of a shocked, concerned fellow student. With so many of her classmates around, it wouldn't be wise to triumph too much – and such gloating would be worthless, anyway. If Touya didn't save the one most precious to him, his adorable sister or Clow Reed's "cute little descendent," as Eriol called him, would. So even as Touya lost his grip, and the students around her shrieked and gasped, knowing Tsukishiro-san had fallen, she sat in her chair, cool and collected, waiting for the day to be saved.  
  
******  
  
Eriol didn't need to hear Kinomoto-kun's pleading, terrified shouts to turn around. Reincarnation or not, he still felt the moon guardian's aura flicker to a dangerously low level. He wouldn't actually fade out of existence for a few weeks yet, but in a few days he would no longer have enough power to return to his true form – vital for the power transfer that was to occur.  
  
Sharp eyes fixed on the tenuous link between Kinomoto and Tsukishiro, namely the latter's still-flickering aura. The pale glimmer of light surrounding his outstretched arm and hand was beginning to dim down to near- nonexistence. Despite his gift of foresight, Eriol still felt a surge of fear as Tsukishiro fell to the ground.  
  
A long second later the reincarnation of Clow Reed felt another aura surge in power. The Card Mistress had grown much stronger during her trials, he could feel her magic all around him.  
  
'You can do it, Sakura. Everything will be all right.'  
  
******  
  
It was so soft a sound, but to Touya it was deafening. Yukito hit the ground with a muted thud, his limbs splayed about him, his head bent at an angle that was slightly wrong. With a speed he didn't know he had, Touya leaped down the tree next to the balcony, barely hearing his worried classmates behind him. He landed in a crouch, meeting his sister's terrified, tear-filled eyes as he stood up. A pink wand with a gold star was in one of her hands, a similar-colored card in the other. His urge to run over and comfort her was drowned, however, by the sight of Yukito's body lying between them.  
  
"Yu-, Yu-ki? Yuki, open your eyes," Touya pleaded, disbelief and grief battling fiercely inside him, as he knelt down besides his too-still friend, whose aura he could no longer feel. Tears he could not fight splashed into Yukito's face, splashed onto the hard, unyielding earth as he bent double and rested his head against his friend's chest, hearing and feeling the strange silence that signified that Yukito was dead.  
  
******  
  
Tomoyo heard the sound an instant before she saw Sakura's face crumple in the video camera's eyepiece. Green eyes widened in horror and grief, and Tomoyo didn't know what was worse: the sound of Yukito's body hitting the ground with a heavy thud and a softer, sickening crunch, or Sakura's half- sobbing cry of his name.  
  
She heard Touya as he scaled down the tree, heard Syaoran as he gasped, a strangled noise coming from deep in his throat. But she couldn't turn the camera away from Sakura, who stood there, wand and Windy in her hand, grief and guilt filling her eyes. As Touya's sorrowful pleas turned into sobs, and Sakura began to waver where she stood, Tomoyo found she could finally move her limbs. Nearly throwing her camera to the ground, she ran to Sakura and held her tightly, rubbing her back as the young Card Mistress cried, her entire body trembling. Tomoyo looked up for an instant at Syaoran, who stood there, crying silently, and was thankful for that moment she couldn't see what the Chinese boy saw.  
  
******  
  
The brightness of Sakura's aura couldn't hide the sudden rush of cold Nakuru felt as Yukito hit the ground. The young woman bolted upright from her chair, a flash of darkness sweeping across her vision. A candle flickering and dying in the wind, a firefly fading into oblivion, the moon swallowed by darkness never to return, leaving an angry black circle in its wake. As the other students rushed to the balcony, the girls starting to weep, Nakuru stood fixed where she was, rigid, wanting nothing more than to fly as far away from this grief and from herself as she could.  
  
******  
  
Eriol almost fell to his knees as he felt Yue's aura vanish into darkness. The sounds of heart wrenching despair and sorrow around him – Gods, would those girls stop screaming?! – dimmed in comparison to the torrent of memories and emotions that filled him. His joy at Yue's creation, his amusement at teaching the young angel the simplest things, his pride at seeing Yue encouraging and caring for his half of the Cards, his love for the angel as they kissed beneath a jealous moon, his grief at sealing Yue within the book.  
  
'This is Clow Reed's grief, this is his mourning! Why am I still crying?'  
  
Eriol pressed his hands to his wet eyes, sank down to the earth, and wept for another's loss.  
  
******  
  
"And as you can see, excavations from the Etruscan period sh-"  
  
Kinomoto Fujitaka swayed slightly, his lecture forgotten as an unknown yet powerful emotion swept over him. But there was an air of familiarity to it, like remembering the scent of cherry blossoms before the sakura bloomed.  
  
"Kinomoto-sensei? Are you all right?" One of his students in the front row stood up and looked at their teacher with great concern.  
  
"I'm all right, Ogama-san," Fujitaka said, opening his eyes and trying to reassure his worried student. "It's just-"  
  
The wave struck again, this time overwhelming him, and as the emotions broke over him Fujitaka recognized one of the feelings. It had never left him, really, but not since the day Nadeshiko died had he ever felt such overwhelming grief. As he bit back the sob that welled up within, the chalk slipped out of his hands, and shattered into a thousand pieces of white dust against the floor. 


	2. Penumbra

Author's Note: Enter Chapter Two. Standard warnings for massive amounts of angst, other non-fluffy-bunny emotions and as stated in the first chapter, character death. Despite this being rather depressing and dark, I hope some segment of the audience is enjoying this latest addition to the CCS fandom collection. Reviews and comments are most welcome!  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own Cardcaptor Sakura, unless the ladies at CLAMP ever manage to return my phone calls.  
  
The One Thing You Can't See – Chapter Two "Penumbra"  
  
Spinel Sun hated interruptions. He hated most, if not all noise. He hated annoyingly cheerful people and above all things he hated sugar. Despised it, loathed it. He hadn't drawn any attention to his distaste for sweets until Eriol-sama's unfortunate school festival. Since then, Ruby Moon had never missed an opportunity to sneak anything sweet into Spinel's mouth. Or to cram it in, if she was really determined.  
  
Her latest project, however, had her attention and energy focused elsewhere, and for that the sun guardian was deeply grateful. One of Clow's tomes on magic lay beneath his paws, a saucer full of genmai-cha on the table besides him. Though he was far less conspicuous in his smaller form – 'enough to fool that idiot Cerberus,' he thought with a wry smile – it was still wiser for him to stay in Eriol's chambers, enclosed with the books he had come to love, away from tens of giggling, noisy high school students.  
  
It hadn't been much of a sacrifice on Spinel's account.  
  
With a deft flick of his paw, the winged cat turned the page. This latest chapter talked about the generalities of lunar and solar elemental magic, and the mechanics of channeling such powerful energies into magically created guardians. Along with matters of aligned spells, Card loyalties and power sources, Clow had included a few cryptic, amused margin notes on personalities – namely on sun guardians' tendencies towards over exuberance and their ability to consume their full weight (in their full form, nonetheless), in pudding.  
  
"Eriol-sama, either you erred quite badly or you're more capricious than I thought," Spinel mused before pausing to lap at his tea. Clow had left precious little besides theoretical abstractions when it came to his moon guardian, but from what Eriol had told Spinel, he was quite sure he'd care a great deal more for Yue than the insufferable, overly-genki creation that was Ruby Moon. With a sardonic smile, he was certain Cerberus would get along fabulously with his lunar counterpart, even if she had to find new methods of torturing her solar companion.  
  
Spinel lapped up the last of his tea with a sigh. He picked up the delicate dish in his paws and flitted over to the corner, where Eriol kept the magic pot for their convenience. 'Perhaps Ruby Moon will find more projects to occupy her time,' he mused in mid-flight, before the world erupted into chaos all around him.  
  
Every magical being or magically endowed human being within the house and grounds was projecting so loudly Spinel nearly lost hold of the saucer. He floated to the ground and tried to sort out the Ruby Moon and Eriol-sama's presence amid the din.  
  
Both his master and his fellow guardian were wracked with terrible grief, but Ruby Moon's was tinged with an unsettling guilt and somewhere further down, an angry, smoldering self-loathing. As cool and collected as Spinel normally he was, he felt the sudden urge to rush to her side, to comfort her, no matter who saw him. She could feed him a ton of sugar, if only it would stop the shadow of despair he felt enveloping her through their bond.  
  
Carefully, Spinel fluttered his pale blue wings and peeked out the side of Eriol-sama's expansive window that looked down onto the grounds. The Seijuu students in their blue blazers were just trickling out of the first- floor door, many of them clutching on to one another, nearly all of them crying. Eriol-sama, his dear master, was kneeling on the ground, one hand pressed to the earth, the other clenched holding his glasses so tight Spinel as sure he would shatter them. The Card Mistress was weeping in the arms of her faithful friend and cinematographer. Clow's "cute little descendent" was standing near them, perfectly still, with thin streams of glistening tears running down his face, looking out at –  
  
"Kami-sama, no," Spinel murmured as he saw what Li-san couldn't look away from. The Card Mistress' brother was clutching a limp, lifeless, gray- haired form in his arms – and Spinel suddenly realized where he should have felt two magical auras he only felt one. Where the other one should have been, he felt a nothingness that burned like a dark star.  
  
A sudden rush of lunar magic flitted at the edge of his vision, near the top of the window. Spinel Sun was the only one who saw Ruby Moon, changed into her true form, streaking higher into the sky, unable to look back.  
  
"Ha ha! You'll never beat the Cerberus Super Speed Burst!" The diminutive sun guardian pounded furiously at the video game controls. His little yellow racer zipped by the other players, narrowly avoiding pedestrians and trees as he zipped by the lead cars. Fourth place, third place, second place – just one more car, and first place, the honor, the glory, and maybe even the high score were his! Much to his dismay, Sakura still held the high score – even with how much more time he spent on the game then her. It was becoming something of a minor obsession.  
  
Pounding his tiny paws against the controls, Kero pulled himself level with the other car, tapping down on the accelerator, trying to nudge his racer past while still navigating the last tricky curves. Just a few more feet –  
  
"Nooooo!" Kero threw down the controller in disgust as the other car flipped him off the road and the cars he had just passed zoomed by. Sakura's record was safe – for this game, at least.  
  
Frustrated at the computer car's trickiness, the small Beast of the Seal decided to console him with some cupcakes that Sakura had left in the room, knowing she would be out the entire day. His mistress might have dropped her baton on him too many times for his liking, but at least she, like the rest of her family, was an excellent cook. She had even made some of his favorites, strawberry cupcakes with a sweet, very pink strawberry icing.  
  
The cupcakes were finished off in a matter of bites, and Kero soon found himself wanting something to drink – to counter the sweetness, at least until he found the rest of the cupcakes. The 'nii-chan was with Sakura at the filming, and her 'tou-san was in classes all day. Nothing wrong with seeing just what the Kinomotos had in their fri-  
  
All thought of sweets, of drinks, of the flashing video game screen asking if he wanted to continue were forgotten as he felt his world drop out from under him.  
  
"Sakura!" But his mistress was all right – well, she was alive. As new as their formal magical bond was, Cerberus could feel her pain as surely as if she was in the room with him. Her grief was raw and potent, too much sorrow to be inflicted on someone so innocent and cheerful.  
  
"I don't even know where you are!" Kero groaned aloud, his little wings flapping furiously. "Damn it, Yue's there, can't he-" And with a sudden, horrible disbelief, Cerberus finally realized that Yue wasn't there at all.  
  
From the time they had been created, the 'brothers' were always able to sense each other. It was like the Light and Dark Cards – despite their differences, Yue and Cerberus were always together. Watching the snow fall outside from the comfort of a fire-warmed room, sleeping beneath the trees in Clow's guardian, trying out their wings for the first time. True, Yue had masked his presence so that his brother couldn't pinpoint his false form before the Judgment, but Cerberus had always felt the tug of the moon as a faint presence in the back of his mind. Yet now there was nothing. His brother was gone, as if he had never existed.  
  
"Yue? Yue!" Kero leapt off the ground and hurled himself out the window, tipping it open easily. The breeze caught his open wings, and he caught an updraft lifting him above Tomoeda. "Yue, where are you? Yue!!" But no pale, easily annoyed moon angel appeared, and the nothingness where he had always felt his brother didn't fill with Yue's cold yet comforting light. That light had been fading, but Yue wouldn't have been in this kind of danger for a while more.  
  
"Yue!!" Cerberus shouted against all hope as he flew in the direction of Sakura's power, as he tried to believe that she mourned for someone besides his brother. 


	3. All the King's Horses

Author's Note: First of all, thank you to Maria, one of my wonderful betas. More betas are welcome - you don't even have to submit a cover level to apply! Blasted, evil cover letters – but back to the story! I hope this chapter was worth the wait – I think a more realistic update schedule is once a week. Enjoy the next step into the darkness, everyone, and for any Syaoran/Sakura fans out there, well, my advance apologies.  
  
Disclaimer: Even after offering up my entire action figure collection and a box of green tea pocky, I still don't own Cardcaptor Sakura.  
  
The One Thing You Can't See – Chapter Three "All The King's Horses"  
  
Watanabe, the assistant director, was the first of the grieving Seijuu students to find his voice. Captain of the soccer team, he knew both Kinomoto and Tsukishiro - the star of the team and one who could have been if he would actually join-  
  
'Would have, would have,' he thought, closing his eyes against the resurgence of tears. Watanabe knew Kinomoto rather well, as well as anyone could know him, anyway. When Tsukishiro helped out with the team, Kinomoto came alive more than ever. Those days the other teams seriously considered coming onto the pitch with a white flag - the two of them were unstoppable. Inseparable - seeing one of them without the other was certainly cause for alarm, if not panic. Imagining the aloof boy without his sweet and cheerful shadow was unimaginable, before today.  
  
"Everyone," he said, his voice quavering but holding steady. A few students looked up, their eyes still red and moist, the heartbreak and anguish one their faces unmistakable. Very few students at Seijuu hadn't been touched by Tsukishiro's kindness. Tomorrow was going to be painful beyond measure. But Nakuru hadn't been seen since the students had rushed downstairs, someone had to hold this little group together.  
  
"Everyone," he repeated, taking a steadying breath. "Please, just wait here a moment. I'll, I'll be right back." Watanabe turned his eyes from the cluster of blue-clad students to a far more agonizing sight. He walked up to Kinomoto in respectful, mournful silence, keeping his tears back with a will he didn't know he had.  
  
"Kinomoto-kun," he said in a soft voice, keeping his eyes on the dark- haired boy's shaking back and not the lifeless figure beside him. Touya didn't turn around, but slowly his sobs eased, and Watanabe carefully rested a hand on his shoulder as he knelt down behind him. "Sumimasen, Kinomoto-kun," he whispered, not trusting that his voice would hold steady at any higher volume. They were the only words he could offer, but even still they didn't seem enough.  
  
"Th-, thank you, Watanabe-sempai," Kinomoto finally replied in a barely audible voice, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. He slowly turned his head up to look at the soccer captain, taking a steadying breath before he dared say anything else. "You should make sure the others get home all right. They've- they've been through enough today."  
  
"But what about-?" Watanabe tilted his head in Yukito's direction, but he couldn't bear to fully look. "An ambulance..the police-"  
  
"The little boy..Hiragizawa-kun, already went inside to call," one of the Seijuu girls interrupted, dabbing at the corner of her eyes with her blazer. Sato-chan, Toua recalled, a sophomore on the archery team. She had a hopeless crush on Yukito, bringing him homemade sweets whenever he helped with their tournaments or practices. He had been too hopelessly naive to realize just why the small, purple-haired girl had kept him plied with sweets, but he had never been anything but kind and warm to her. Never had been anything but the sweet, loveable Yuki who would be so deeply missed.  
  
Watanabe let out a soft sigh of relief that one painful task was already done. "Thank you, Sato-chan," he said to the girl, who returned to her cluster of friends, preparing for their departure. "Kinomoto-kun, if you need anything-" It was doubtful Touya would ask for help, for a comforting shoulder, but the soccer captain hoped the younger boy would eventually ask. "I'll, I'll tell the teachers what happened. They'll make sure everyone knows." Touya looked relieved, but it couldn't begin to erase the sheer hopelessness from his face. Watanabe had never thought he would ever see his top player looking so stricken and lost - and he didn't know what else to say that would only drive Touya further into his own grief.  
  
"I'm so sorry," the captain finally said, bowing his head. Touya merely nodded and tuned back to Yukito, resting a hand on his best friend's forehead.  
  
********  
  
"O- onii-chan?"  
  
Sakura's broken voice cut the silence left by the students' departure like no thunderclap ever could. Touya glanced up to see his sister, still clutching her pink wand, looking at him with tear-filled green eyes that must have mirrored his own expression.  
  
Tomoyo tightened the hand resting on Sakura's shoulder as the auburn-haired girl opened her mouth to speak, yet couldn't the words. Before she closed her eyes and began crying again Touya realized what else he had seen in his sister's eyes.  
  
Guilt.  
  
"Gomen nasai, onii-chan! Gomen nasai!" Sakura's sobs came in great, heaving gasps, and before Tomoyo could turn her supporting arm into another hug Touya left his place besides Yukito and scooped his sister into his arms.  
  
"It's not your fault," he crooned, stroking the back of her hair with his hand, even as she sobbed into his shoulder and shook her head in protest. "You did everything you could, and he knows that." The girl's crying didn't abate, but at least she stopped shaking her head. Barely keeping his own tears in check, Touya moved his hand to lift Sakura's head up toward his.  
  
"It was an accident, kaijuu. A ho- horrible accident. Nobody knew it would happen," he explained in a soft voice, even as his own doubts came to attack him. He should have kept Yuki at home today, he should have taken him home as soon as he got tired, he should have just held on tighter- He shook the thoughts away - he didn't have the luxury of dealing with them now. Not when his sister needed him so badly, not when her world, all their worlds, had been shattered into a thousand painful pieces.  
  
"It always made Yuki so sad to see you cry, remember?," Touya went on, and Sakura gave a tiny nod in response. "He told me that you should always have a smile on your face, and that I shouldn't tease you so much." Touya wanted to smile and weep at the memory of Yuki baiting him about his sister complex, and he felt the warmth of fresh tears on his cheek. "So you'll smile again? For Yuki?"  
  
For a long moment, the sound of Sakura's soft weeping was the only sound. She opened her eyes, wrapped her arms tightly around her brother and rested her head against his shoulder, looking at Yukito's still body while tears streamed down her cheeks. "I'll try, onii-chan," she whispered, her hands clenching her wand. Sakura took in a breath and held it for a moment; despite the horror of the situation, she still felt the usual anxiety whenever her brother and her magic collided. "Onii-chan, there's something I want to do-"  
  
Touya gently lowered his little sister to the ground, the calm and determination in her eyes amidst all the pain surprising him. Was this how she handled all the trials she had faced since she opened that book? He simply nodded in reply, but still held onto her hand, no matter how much older she seemed now.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran-kun, Touya and I- we'll be all right," Sakura said as she looked at her two best friends. "If- if you wanted-" Her newfound strength was faltering, but Tomoyo was there to encourage it.  
  
"We'll come to your house tomorrow, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said, reading her cousin's thoughts. "Call either of us if you need anything, anything at all." Syaoran nodded in agreement, wanting to do nothing more than to hold Sakura until the last of her tears were gone. But it seemed he couldn't make his legs move over to her, and she had enough support with Tomoyo and her older brother.  
  
"Thank you, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said as she let go of Touya's hand long enough to hug Tomoyo tightly, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. "Thank you, Syaoran-kun," she said to the still-immobile boy as she pulled away from her cousin and returned to her brother's side.  
  
Sakura realized as she reached for her cards, contained within a well- concealed pocket in the kimono Tomoyo had made, she was still holding Windy in her other hand. The card still looked the same, but it felt wrong. As if all the sorrow and pain she felt was looking back at her in Windy's serene face. She gently laid Windy on top of the deck, which had the same feeling of wrongness, and pulled out the Shield.  
  
"Onii-chan, these are-"  
  
"Your magic cards," Touya interrupted, resting a hand atop his sister's head. "I know, kaijuu, I know. We can talk about it later later with that talking plushie of yours."  
  
Despite himself, he felt the spark of a smile at her surprised expression. "What did you need to do with them? Can you-" Touya winced and cut himself off from asking what surely was an impossible task. These cards of his sisters might be strong, but there was no magic that could bring back the dead, no magic that could undo what had been done.  
  
"I- I just want to protect him, to keep anything else from happening to him," Sakura stammered, starting to turn around. "I love Yukito-san - and Yue-san," she said, kneeling by her fallen guardian and gently clasping his still hand. "I wish I could have been a better master, but I hope I was a good friend. You're my number one person, and I hope you know that," she said, squeezing his hand tightly before she picked up the pink card lying on the grass besides her.  
  
"Protect the one I love! Shield!"  
  
Even before he felt Sakura's aura flare into brightness again, Touya saw Yukito's pale form flicker in the pale light of the impending sunset. The amber light flashed through him and onto the grass, even as Sakura's spell wrapped around him. "Yuki!! Sakura-chan, what's happening?"  
  
"I don't know!," she yelled, pulling back the card just seconds later. But before the magic wove itself back into its card form, Yukito vanished with the last rays of sunlight.  
  
"No! 'Nii-chan!!"  
  
Touya and Sakura both looked up to see Cerberus, in his full form, flying as fast as he could to the spot where his brother's false form had lain only moments before.  
  
******  
  
Tomoyo and Syaoran walked back towards the house, towards the pathway that led to the main gate. Tomoyo's sharp lavender eyes looked for Hiragizawa - she had heard one of the Seijuu students tell Touya that he had gone in to call an ambulance, but he had never returned. It didn't seem like the shy yet kind boy not to return and make sure Sakura, a person he seemed to care about, was all right.  
  
Each time Syaoran or Tomoyo started to say something, they fell silent before they could bring themselves to speak. It was a long, silent walk through the streets of Tomoeda as the day slipped into dusk and the first stars appeared.  
  
Even the sky seemed to be in mourning, Tomoyo thought, as the feeble rays of sunset caught dark clouds on the far horizon. The moon hadn't risen yet, and Tomoyo wouldn't blame it if didn't show itself out of grief.  
  
"I'm glad you were there for Sa-, Kinomoto-chan," Syaoran said just before they reached their parting point. Tomoyo looked at the Chinese boy, confused and for the moment, speechless. But he had cared deeply for Yukito, even if his feeling had been sparked by their mutual lunar magic. Sakura-chan and Touya-kun weren't the only ones in pain.  
  
"You'll be there for Sakura-chan too, Li-kun," Tomoyo reassured him, resting a hand on his shoulder as she had done with Sakura. "She'll need all of us to help her, to make her smile again, and she'll need you a lot."  
  
"And I'll help her however I can but I think you'll be the one she needs the most," Syaoran said, shaking his head slightly. "You're her best friend, the one who's always there for her, the one who cares about her the most."  
  
Tomoyo didn't know whether to shake her head or turn it away - she could tell exactly where Li was going. He was speaking out of grief, out of pain, but deep down, she knew he was speaking the truth.  
  
"Li-kun, I know you haven't told her how you feel yet, and it may take longer, but you can't just give up. You make Sakura-chan very happy, and she needs that now," Tomoyo said emphatically, but Syaoran merely shook his head again.  
  
"Maybe I'll tell her, one day, just so she knows," he said wistfully. His tone grew more serious and much quieter. "Kinomoto-chan never got to tell the person she loved how she felt. That must be too painful to bear."  
  
Syaoran looked up at Tomoyo suddenly, his amber-eyed gaze so intense she could barely meet it.  
  
"You shouldn't meet the same fate, Daidouji-chan," he said, drawing a gasp of surprise from Tomoyo. "If anything happened to her, and you hadn't told her you loved her, you wouldn't be able to take it. Tell her - she cares for you more than you know. And even if she doesn't love you that way, at least you can't say she never knew."  
  
The unflappable Daidouji Tomoyo was visibly shaken, and after being strong for her Sakura-chan, her lavender eyes filled up with tears. "I – I -"  
  
"I'll be at her house at 10 tomorrow," Syaoran continued, knowing it would be a while before Tomoyo could possibly respond. "I'll see you then, but think about what I've said." A slightly rueful smile touched his otherwise somber face.  
  
"You aren't the only one who notices things, Daidouji-chan."  
  
Syaoran turned to head for home, a cold breeze ruffling his hair. And you aren't the only one who would make a sacrifice so the one you love is happy, he thought, as the first pale beams of moonlight shone in the east. 


	4. Myopia

Chapter 4  
  
Beta Notes: Thank you again! Once again, all comments-criticisms welcome. If you think a sentence should be worded differently, go ahead and keep putting it in parentheses next to the original sentence. Working with reincarnations was tough – not sure at all how Eriol grew up so I just alluded to his earlier 'childhood' very briefly. If you have any suggestions I'd be glad to hear them! And as for Clow's Chinese version of the 'Fly' incantation, does it make sense for him to say it that way? I pulled the verb off an online dictionary, and now I'm wondering if he'd say it in English, after all.  
  
Kinomoto Fujitaka, even in his prime, had never run so fast.  
  
Never one to call off one of his classes, he had barely even said goodbye to his students before all but dashing out the door. The early evening breeze felt ice cold against his face as he ran away from the sprawling campus and blindly towards home. Something must have happened to Touya or Sakura - the grief welling up inside him made him want to collapse beneath the still-bare cherry trees and weep until he had no more tears. He didn't even know where exactly they were - they were both filming the movie for Touya's class, but they hadn't mentioned where it was. Sakura had mentioned, however, that Tomoyo was coming along to help. Sonomi-kun might not be home much, but if she didn't know where her daughter was, her bodyguards would know in a matter of moments.  
  
Fujitaka was about to turn in the direction of the Daidouji house (manor would be an understatement) when the sound of muffled conversation, sniffling, and soft crying brought him to a halt.  
  
A group of Seijuu students turned the corner, easily recognizable in their blue blazers. Every one of them was red-eyed, and every one of them looked up him with an expression of wrenching sorrow as they realized whom the slightly out-of-breath professor was.  
  
"Kinomoto-sensei-"  
  
"Kinomoto-sensei, I'm so sorry...."  
  
No, no, no, no, no, he thought, his brain racing, trying not to believe what surely had come to pass even as time seemed to slow to an endless moment of agony.  
  
"Kinomoto-sensei...tell Touya-kun we're so sorry.."  
  
Time picked up a little bit as Fujitaka looked up into the eyes of a clearly grieving student. But if she wasn't grieving for Touya, and if she wasn't telling Fujitaka himself she was sorry - 'Sakura is all right, thank the Gods' - then who were they mourning, and more so, why had he felt the loss, miles away, as keenly as it was his own child?  
  
"Tell Touya-kun...we're so sorry about Tsukishiro-kun," she said, dabbing her eyes with the sleeve of her blazer. "Tell him if he needs anything..." She broke off, unable to speak, and another student near her wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Tsukishiro-kun?," Fujitaka asked, readjusting his glasses. Touya's best friend had been sick, he knew, something serious enough to dampen the gray- haired boy's usually happy spirits and to make Touya more worried than usual. But Tsukishiro-kun had been over just a few nights ago, and even if he was yawning a little bit more, he seemed fine. His tiredness didn't stop him from helping with the dishes, all the while complimenting Fujitaka on his excellent cake.  
  
Another student, an older boy Fujitaka recognized from Touya's soccer games, stepped forward. "We were filming the last scene of the movie," he said, his voice husky and none-too-certain. "Tsukishiro-kun and Kinomoto- kun were on the balcony, and Tsukishiro fell...."  
  
"He fell? Is he all right?" As soon as he uttered the words, Fujitaka wished he could take them back. If Tsukishiro-kun was all right, or even if he had only been hurt, he wouldn't be seeing the suffering he was now.  
  
The soccer captain closed his eyes as he shook his head. Some of the students behind him had started crying again, even those who thought they had shed every last tear.  
  
"It...it was fast. He had fainted...I don't think he even felt it."  
  
It was all so fast, Eriol thought, as he stumbled inside the house. He had told the sobbing Seijuu student that he would call an ambulance, even if knew it was too late. Yue may have no longer been his guardian – no, he never was my guardian, he protested, fighting the memories bleeding into his – but the loss affected him as keenly as if had been his own moon guardian lying there, his own beloved creation torn away before his eyes...  
  
"Stop!," the young sorcerer whimpered, collapsing against the open doorframe leading into the large study. "Gods, just make it stop..." He wanted Spinel Sun here, he wanted to sink against him and sob into his fur, knowing his stoic sun guardian would stay there until Eriol's tears ran dry. He wanted Ruby Moon, no, he wanted Nakuru, to cheer him with her impossibly sunny nature, despite her lunar alignment.  
  
And Gods, he needed Kaho. He missed her gentle, soothing presence, her playfulness, her lapses in memory that made her adorable and endearing, in addition to making her seem younger than she was. She would have felt that something happened, even if she didn't know what it was. Though with her strong affinity with lunar magic, she might have a better idea than most. He wiped his tears away and walked towards the old-fashioned dial phone on the table, already thinking of what words he would use.  
  
Kaho...something's happened and I need you here...Sakura-chan and Kinomoto-kun need you here...  
  
Kaho, it's me, Eriol. Something horrible's happened. Something went wrong and..  
  
Perhaps it didn't go wrong. Perhaps this, too, was inevitable.  
  
Eriol had just picked up the phone as the last thought came to him, unbidden and unwelcome. First it was Kaho's voice, mysterious and sad, then Clow's voice, full of sorrow and regret, and then it was his own voice, listless and resigned. All saying the same thing. All saying perhaps fate had a swift, senseless death for Yukito and Yue all along, and Eriol's glimpse into the future had been wrong.  
  
"Nooooooo!!"  
  
The phone crashed to the floor as Eriol swept it off the table, then sank to his knees besides it. His Sight had never failed; even the most mundane details of the future were there for him to see. His vision couldn't have been any clearer – Windy gently cushioning the young man's fall, the sigh's of relief at his miraculous rescue, Touya's worry as he carried the sleeping snow rabbit into the spare bedroom Eriol had prepared days before, Yukito keeping a worried, confused vigil over his sleeping best friend. So why was Touya kneeling on the grass, cradling his best friend's body?  
  
Tears borne more of anger than sorrow streamed down his face as Eriol pulled himself to his feet, making his way to the high red chair in the center of the room. There was perhaps only one person who had the answer to Eriol's question, even if he had died in that house hundreds of years ago.  
  
This close to the full moon, everything was full of its magic. The pale branches of the trees, woven like shadowy nets, cool, tranquil ponds waiting to reflect back its cold beauty. Everything was full of the moon – except for the hole in Cerberus' soul that threatened to become a chasm.  
  
Still in his small form, Cerberus could feel his mistress' grief, could feel the pain and trauma of all the Cards, Yue's Cards in particular. He knew he should go to her, follow the dark and twisted threads of emotion back to her but he had to find his brother. As he soared through the purple skies above Tomoeda, he had felt a glimmer of lunar magic, a glimmer not coming from the gibbous moon still below the horizon. It was celestial magic, to be sure, and his heart soared as he recognized a faint, familiar aura permeating it. Clow's aura.  
  
As much as he and Yue had fought since the day the sun guardian was created, Cerberus was devastated by the thought that anything could have befallen his older brother. But no matter how much they bickered, how much he harassed Yue simply out of boredom, no matter how much he had wanted to cuff the moon angel with his wings for giving Sakura such a terrible Judgment, it couldn't change the fact that he loved his brother and would be incomplete without him.  
  
Yue brushing the mats out of his fur, curling up with Yue beneath the cherry tree in the garden, Clow reading them stories by the fire as the snow swirled outside, Yue making pudding for Cerberus out of a sudden burst of kindness – Cerberus was so lost in his memories that he didn't recognize the bright flash of solar magic sweeping up behind him until he was nearly knocked out of the air by the flying black kitten who looked as distraught as he did.  
  
"S- Suppi? No offense, but you need to watch where you're flying," Cerberus said as both guardians regained their lost altitude. Spinel barely acknowledged him, but looked nervously in the direction they had both been flying, Nakuru's trail growing fainter with each second.  
  
"Have you seen a girl with purple hair and butterfly wings?," Spinel asked rapidly, not even bothering to apologize. He didn't have time to be as polite as he would like to be. "She would have been giving off lunar magic, you can still feel she's been here – I have to find her."  
  
"What?" Disbelief and anger crept into Cerberus' voice as Suppi fired off his questions. Whatever passed by here had lunar magic and Clow's imprint – it could only be Yue, not some butterfly girl. "I think you're confused, Suppi, only my brother could have this aura, and I think he's been hurt. Long silver hair, big wings, bad attitude – you had to have seen him."  
  
Spinel's pale-blue eyes widened. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone of his identity or Eriol's plans, especially Sakura's Sun Guardian. But Eriol's plans were in tatters, and his sister was in horrible pain. And Cerberus – Oh Gods, Cerberus would know what had befallen Yue soon enough, no matter how much he denied it in his heart.  
  
"Cerberus, I'm so sorry,' Spinel said, his wings fluttering even faster, tail twitching back and forth. He closed his eyes, gathering as such sympathy as he could, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. Instead, he shook his head and looked sadly but firmly at his fellow sun guardian.  
  
"Fly back from where I came – your mistress and your brother are there. I have to find my sister before she does anything," Spinel said in a pained voice, looking towards the last glow of light in the east. "There's been too much sadness today."  
  
Spinel shot off towards the last rays of sunset. Cerberus growled a profanity and swiftly followed him.  
  
'Can't you understand me?," Spinel shouted, looking back with only the slightest glances. Nothing would keep him from finding Nakuru now. "Go to your mistress – can't you tell she needs you?!" A twinge of guilt stung at Spinel as he felt his own master's pain.  
  
Forgive me, Eriol-sama, he thought. If Nakuru does anything rash that would be another loss you could not possibly bear.  
  
"What about my brother?," Cerberus shouted as Spinel flew ahead of him, far too fast to follow. "What happened to Yue?!"  
  
"Go to your mistress," Spinel shouted, closing his eyes to keep back the tears at the thought of Eriol and Nakuru. "There's nothing you can do for your brother now."  
  
The silent, empty room gave way to a sky full of stars, whose light seemed cold and brittle to Eriol, where it had always been warm and familiar. He yanked at the key resting at his throat, holding it out in an almost defiant manner as all but snarled the invocation.  
  
"Key concealing the power of the Dark, show your true form before me! By our contract, Eriol commands you. Release!"  
  
The small key flared in brightness before growing to a formidable wand; a heartbeat later Clow Reed was standing in front of him.  
  
Despite being his reincarnation, Eriol's actual conversations with his predecessor had been rather few. On his seventh birthday, when he had come into his powers; age nine, when he was given guidance on making his own guardians; just before he left for Tomoeda. All of the encounters had been initiated by Clow, and so the older magician looked confused at the younger, more powerful of his reincarnations.  
  
"Is there something wrong, Eriol-kun?," he asked, his voice gentle and enigmatic as it ever was, only a few pitches above Eriol's prematurely deepened baritone. (Betas! What range would you put Eriol's "deep" voice in?) His kind eyes crinkled in concerned behind the frames of his glasses.  
  
"You can't feel it? You don't know that he's gone?" Eriol, who seldom spoke above a murmur, was all but shouting at Clow, tears starting to sting at his blue eyes.  
  
Clow swallowed hard, his already pale complexion blanching. Both of his reincarnations shared his calm, unflappable personality. Fujitaka and his kind, paternal nature; Eriol and his playful, mischievous side. Thus Eriol had been perfect for the task Clow had set him to, and to handle his two new guardians-  
  
His guardians. Kami-sama, how had he not noticed it? Cerberus' bright aura he could feel, as strong as ever, but the cool aura of his moon guardian, which had been dimming as of late, could scarcely be felt. As if it was behind a thick, heavy veil his hands, or rather, the lingering magic his spirit had left, couldn't push aside.  
  
"Yue." Clow's anguished voice eerily matched Yue's on the bitterly cold day he had told his two guardians it was his last day on earth.  
  
"In my visions he was fine! Sakura's brother saved him and everything happened as you said it would. What did I, what did you do wrong?"  
  
"I don't know, Eriol-kun," Clow replied shakily. "It was the vision we both saw, it was the way the future should have been-"  
  
"But it's not! It's suffering, and pain, and now there's no way Sakura can convert all the cards." Eriol's anger burst through in his sharp, staccato tone, his hands gripping his staff even tighter.  
  
"But I can still feel him," Clow said, his voice less a statement than a plea to that faint, ghostly aura on the edge of his perception. "He isn't gone, not completely."  
  
"And his false form is dead on the lawn, mourned by the Card Mistress and the one who should have saved him!" Eriol turned his head to where he knew the window would be in the space his physical body inhabited. "There's nothing we can do now."  
  
"All hope might not be lost," Clow said, causing Eriol to look up sharply. "There still might be something we ca-"  
  
A sharp scream cut through the older magician's words, but it wasn't the anguished cry that made them both shiver. That faint sliver of lunar energy Eriol had just begun to perceive at Clow's words whipped around them in a violent, frigid breeze and was gone before either of them could contain it.  
  
"Yue! Yue!" Clow called out but the remnant of his creation was beyond hearing, or beyond hearing entirely. He turned back to Eriol even as he began to glow with a sparkling silver light.  
  
"Go to them and explain everything - there's no more time for subterfuge. I'll come back to you once I've found him. There still must be a way to set this right."  
  
Eriol nodded as he listened to Clow, wishing that the sorcerer was right and there was hope, however small. Relieved, Clow turned back towards the stars, glowing brighter and brighter.  
  
"Hang xing!"  
  
Clow's magic circle flared beneath him as he uttered the words, a pair of magnificent iridescent wings springing from his back. Eriol allowed himself a second to marvel at the transformation before Clow soared off in search of his guardian. But Sakura's voice, floating up from the grounds below, pulled him back to reality and the grim task he had ahead.  
  
"Nii-chan!!!"  
  
Through her tears, Sakura could see Cerberus flying down in a tight spiral, white wings shining out amid the violet sky. Clutching the cards tight to her chest, she recognized their mutual grief for Yue, which was as deep, if not deeper, than the pain she and Touya felt for Yukito's double loss. She had never seen her sun guardian so distraught, so hopeless. As he landed heavily on the grass and sank down on his front paws, she ran over and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Gomen nasai, Kero-chan!" Her shoulders were shaking as badly as his as the winged lion could no longer keep deny what had happened. "He fell and...and I don't know why he fell and I'm so sorry!"  
  
"No, Sakura-chan. I'm the one who is sorry," interrupted a somber, familiar voice. All three looked up, blinking away tears to see Eriol standing, ashamed but determined, in front of them. Cerberus was too shocked even to change into his smaller form, but Touya stepped forward, fists balling at his side.  
  
"I knew there was something wrong with you!," he said in a low, cold voice, making the young mage take an involuntary step back. "Yukito had fainted the last time I saw you – I should have dragged him home as soon as I saw you here!"  
  
"Kinomoto-kun, please believe me, I couldn't, I would have never-" Eriol closed his eyes and swallowed hard – even Sakura's kindly eyes had grown suspicious and sharp. He had never meant to hurt anyone but he had. In the worst possible way. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Please, come inside and I'll exp-"  
  
"Touya-kun! Sakura-chan!"  
  
Fujitaka ran into the grounds, looking as if shouting his children's name had taken every ounce of energy he had left. He came to a sudden halt as he saw his daughter kneeling by a huge winged lion who seemed achingly familiar. "Sa-, Sakura-chan?"  
  
"'Tou-san, I can-" Touya trailed off, looking between his father and Sakura's classmate. There were slight differences, but for the most part their auras were exactly the same – and were far too similar to Yukito's winged aura to be mere coincidence.  
  
And nothing in his world was coincidence, after all.  
  
"Sorry 'tou-san, I can't explain it," Touya finished, leaving Fujitaka more confused than ever. Cold blue eyes settled on Eriol instead.  
  
"I do believe that this young man, however, was going to explain everything to us." A long, eerily silent pause – even the wind stilled for that moment. "Weren't you?' 


End file.
